Patience

Standard

I am not a patient person. Ask, well, pretty much anyone. I cannot wait for anyone or anything without a bit of frustration. This applies to me too:

  • You’re not running fast enough. You should be faster by now.
  • Why dont you have the money to do this. You’re 24 with a full time job. You shouldn’t struggle to give yourself a vacation.
  • You’re not loosing enough weight. You’ve been at this for almost a year now.
  • Math? You shouldn’t need to review basic algebra terms.
  • It doesn’t take that long to make a decision about your clothes.

It goes on.

And on.

And on.

Now that I’m back from my injury workout vacay, I’m working on this one step at a time. This morning’s run was gorgeous. The sunrise was right in my face, the people smiled as they passed, and I felt great. That is, until I didn’t. A dull pain I normally push off became a sharp pain. And there was my impatient self again, “You rested a week. That should have been long enough.”

Ok. Breathe. Push it out of your mind. Some things you cannot control, and oddly enough, a lot of that is your body.

For some, weight loss comes quickly. It did in my first 5 months. And then, nothing. I was running more and fueling it better, but the body is finicky. It wants to take off weight on its own time, not what you think you should be doing.

Same with learning a skill. Any teacher can tell you that not every student will pick up on a concept or a skill at the drop of a hat. It takes a ton of practice and patience. For me, I’m relearning math concepts for my GRE by doing daily quantitative practice exams first thing in the morning. On my Droid, I’ve downloaded vocab flashcards and have been playing freerice.com for a good two weeks. Am I getting better? I think so. My practice exams have improved over the last two weeks. But nothing drastic.

I still have to remind myself that whether it be fitness, math, or challenging vocab words, none of this comes easy to the majority of the population. People get older, their minds forget. And when we need to recall something we have learned or reset our body back to square one, we have to be patient with the process and with ourselves.

When I find myself dwelling on it too long, I make charts. I have one for weight loss and measurements, one for my savings account, and another new one for my practice test exam results. Seeing progress over time motivates me and reassures me about pitfalls I may encounter.

But, then there is the issue of being patient with others. How does one deal with other people when their patience is running thin?

Relationships, all types, depend on a certain level of trust. I either trust you or I dont. There’s really no in between for me. If I trust that you are going to call me back, then you better get to your phone within a reasonable amount of time. And if I trust that you will come around to your senses, dont expect me to try to knock it in to you after the fact. I swear that I will be there with a big “I told you so, dumb ass.”

I told you that you shouldn't have gotten such a stupid tattoo. I TOLD YOU SO!

I understand that this isn’t the most patient way of thinking about it- that people make mistakes and slip up. Our generation seems to be extremely flaky, especially in the way of making and keeping promises.

Like I said, I’m working on it. I’m trying to give people the chance to prove me wrong and build back some leeway with me so I’m not impatiently waiting on their replies to emails or notes of forgiveness for past transgressions. Will this help me with my inability to wait on things/people without getting in a tizz? I doubt it. But it will it ease me of some of the crushing stress I put on myself. God, I hope so.

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