Recently, there was a crisis in my family. It was one that completely shook me to my core. Of course, it was totally unexpected and I heard about it from the worst source possible. And obviously, because this is deeply personal, I will not discuss this here.

However, this event did spark something in me that I have been secretly struggling with over the past couple of months- motivation.

Before I moved out to E-town for my year as a teacher, I became extremely dedicated to exercising. I ran a 5K, tracked almost everything I ate, practiced yoga almost daily, and was at my lowest weight in 5 years. Being active gave me confidence to end a going south relationship and to make several important life decisions.

Only, it didn’t last. I moved to a neighborhood where a gym wasn’t free and I wasn’t making enough to pay for it. I tried to run outside, but my neighborhood was occasionally dangerous, hilly, and was located right next to high schoolers who could be quite cruel to passers. I stopped working out, I drank more, and I went out to eat like crazy.

That ritual pretty much summed up my entire last year. And obviously, my body has paid for it. And this is where I am going to be brutally honest. I gained back the 15lbs I lost when I was at my peak and then gained about another 7. I haven’t felt good or comfortable in my skin, and those around me or close to me have seen this change.

A couple weeks ago, I decided to be pro-active. I started up running again, but my previous problems with shin splints hindered me. I finally bit the bullet and joined the Y. Not only does it provide me with a ton of free or low fee classes, I also get to use this activtrack fitness helper. And of course, I’m back on sparkpeople. Find me if you use it because I love spark buddies.

Yesterday was my first spin class, by the way. Oh man, it was insane. I had taken a couple of spin classes here and there, but never full hour sessions at high intensity. But there was something great about channeling all of my anger and hurt in pushing my body to the limit.

Anyways, I might post more about my fitness as time goes by and I may just forget or be unwilling to post about it period. But, if you want to motivate me with emails, facebook messages, and the occasional phone call… that would be great.


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